engagement

An engagement is an agreement or promise to marry, and also refers to the time between proposal and marriage. During this period, a couple is said to be affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged.

The engagement period

The concept of an engagement period may have begun in 1215 at the Fourth Lateran Council, headed by Pope Innocent III, which decreed that "marriages are to be . . . announced publicly in the churches by the priests during a suitable and fixed time, so that if legitimate impediments exist, they may be made known." [1] [2]. The modern Western form of the practice of giving or exchanging engagement rings is traditionally thought to have begun in 1477 when Maximilian I, Holy Roman Emperor gave Mary of Burgundy a diamond ring as an engagement present. [3] [4]

Engagements have no predetermined length, and may range from days to years. Customs surrounding engagement vary greatly, and may include a formal or informal announcement to friends, family, and community, or a celebratory party or gathering.

In contemporary Western culture, it is not uncommon for couples to spend a considerable period of engagement, often cohabitating, possibly without setting a date for their marriage [5]. However, long-distance engagements also exist, often signifying primarily a general desire for eventual marriage, rather than a period of preparation for marriage. This is sometimes necessary for couples living in different countries, as some countries require a formal relationship before allowing residents' future spouses to immigrate. For example, in the United States, the K1 Visa allows a fiancé(e) of a US citizen to reside in the United States for up to ninety (90) days before marriage [6].

Engagement rings

Main article: Engagement ring

In the United States and the United Kingdom, an engagement ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand; the custom in Continental Europe and other countries is to wear it on the right hand. This tradition is thought to be from the Romans, who believed this finger to be the beginning of the vena amoris ("vein of love"), the vein that leads to the heart.^{citation needed]} Romantic rings from the time of the Roman Empire and from as far back as 4 AD often resemble the Celtic Claddagh symbol (two hands clasping a heart) and so it is thought that this was used as some symbol of love and commitment between a man and a woman. Some others suggest that the rings could be symbolically linked to slave shackles, and thus symbolize the future bondage of husband and wife. However, much speculation about the origins of the engagement ring exists. See the link below for more information on the history of engagement rings.

Engagement parties

Occasionally the engaged couple will have an engagement party. Traditionally the party is hosted by the fiancée's parents. Usually it is a relatively informal affair and only hors d'oeuvres and drinks will be served. Traditionally, a speech is made by the couple, one or more of their parents, or both.

Guests are not expected to bring gifts, but some choose to do so. The traditional gift is a teapot, but more contemporary gifts include money, champagne or high-quality wine, gift vouchers, household utensils, or flowers.

Related terms

Fiancé(e)

A man who is engaged to be married is called his partner's fiancé; a woman similarly engaged is called her partner's fiancée. These words are pronounced identically in English; the separate feminine form exists because of the inflectional morphology of grammatical gender in French, where the term originated. The term fiancé(e) is also sometimes used as a euphemism for a live-in lover, as was particularly common in tabloid newspapers during the 1990s.

Proposal

Engagement is most often initiated by a proposal of marriage, or simply a proposal. The proposal often has a ritual quality, involving the presentation of the engagement ring and a formalized asking of a question such as "Will you marry me?" It is traditionally the man's task to propose to the woman, but this is no longer universal. In Ireland the 29th of February is said to be the one day (coming round only once every four years) when a woman can propose to her partner.

Betrothal

Engagement is similar to betrothal, and the two terms are sometimes used interchangeably. However, betrothal often refers to agreements involving not only the couple but their families; the concept sometimes has a connotation of arranged marriage. Furthermore, betrothals, though they can be broken, often have binding legal implications lacking in engagements.

Breach of Promise

Up until the 20th century or so, it was possible for a man (almost never a woman) to be sued if he promised to marry a woman, and then refused to go through with it, since she might have, or be believed to have, given up her virginity to him in the belief she would be married soon enough anyway. Since this would make it difficult for her to marry someone else, she could receive damages for this breach.

See also

• Banns of marriage
• Betrothal
• Engagement ring